I used to be so proud, run by ego. Regardless of whether it seemed like it, I was motivated by status, success and other’s approval of me.
I feared rejection. I feared being perceived as less than, unintelligent or lazy. Since leaving my job in medicine, I have let go of most of my issues regarding status. I could easily tout my status as a doctor most places I go, and most of my friends find out in our conversations about life, but I refuse to use it as a status crutch. I refuse to let one thing that I did with my life let me hold myself in higher esteem than others, or think I am better than in some way. (No joke I really had to fight this type of toxic thinking in the past)
For one thing, I’m not any better than anyone else because I was interested in health and serving others, because I worked hard to get that degree. What it really means is that I was afforded opportunities that many in this world aren’t.
It takes being knocked off your privileged pedestal, realizing that you aren’t the shit and don’t have it all together to really be humbled by your travels, life experiences, and those around you.
I used to fear working in any service industry (retail, restaurant, etc) because I found it embarrassing in some way, the work less meaningful since I prided myself on intellectual superiority. I know, I know…what bullshit! The honest truth I have since realized—those are some of the hardest working people around.
I also realize that all some of these posts are doing is showing my privilege, but I welcome someone to help me check my privilege and status—always! It’s a process and I don’t claim to be perfect but life experience and learning from others different from myself makes it easier.
I have been humbled by my health. By changes in my financial siutation. By traveling and seeing how others navigate the world with less but more ingeniously and still with a smile on their face. So thank you to all who have humbled me. I believe I am becoming a better human because of you.
(For those who don’t know… I am doing “30 days to 30” and sharing life lessons and stories in order to celebrate my birthday—hoping to break stigmas and stereotypes about what 30 means and looks like)
